friends quote

when guys see me the want to do me.
i know that now.
they dont know if they like me yet.
they usually dont until after they sleep with me.

IMMA GENIUS IN THE SHOWER...

and other things i never seem to have a pen for.

gas station guy, i dont get him. but we like each other.
i decided to tell him it was cool that he never talked to me,
and now he doesnt really.

how long do cats last?
or dogs for that matter?
how long before i can i have a hair free, puke free house?

BLOG SCHMOG

where are my shoes?
in the middle of the floor?
No,
Those are J's.
mine are behind them,
pushed under the bed.
Forgotten.

i am the best consult outside a dermatological office

you lady.
come in
tell me you like makeup
but really you like free
cuz your not here the rest of the year,
while we give away everything else.
you dont know
we are not expensive.
if you buy right.
i would tell you.
but you are defensive.
you like to waste time
my time
and i will send you off with anything i can find.

if you hear,
i will fix you.
I create great skin for everyone i see.
listen to me.

it must be the wind.

seems like every one has issues.
somehow i have been missed,
or i have missed them.
still autumn,
still cool.

fuck you mr

you fuckin suck ass
you kiss and blow.
mr, you both,
are bitches in a haystack.

so easy to find,
and easy to forget.
i feel a small need to tell you
how you have fucked up,
but more so,
I leave you.
by yourself,
as i found you.
good luck

client-telling

its fall in retail
the coats are out
the gifts are on.
its almost dark when i get to work,
and its raining when i leave.
its a nice feeling.
i go out to smoke,
wait to see the leaves change,
people have no excuse to be outside.
it will be a good season.

i know your name.
of course i do.
i can even figure what you buy,
before you do.
open ended questions,
decide your whole life,
or just your spending habits,
and that is all i care about.

who cares that this is a recession.
i can't afford what i sell you.

i get mine for free.

I have a lot to do, besides watch movies on tnt

The house is clean enough,
laundry has been tackled.
i feel acomplished.
and free,

its late enough,
no one will call my name
even tho
i would answer.

a friend of mine
thinks i should try a day
with no apologies.
not sure why.

do i take the world on my shoulders?
i dont feel so.
i feel that i ignore most things.

i do my thing.
maybe could be better.

consideration is not my strong point.
Im more worried about me.


absolutely, i will stab someone

for a friend. (if they ask)

you get me, you got me for life.

but go 50 miles,
or even a month without a hello,
you can't
ignore me.

im the best person you could ever know.
contents subject to change.

huge list of things to do.

dont go near the water

You make the rules.
im supposed to follow,

You dont trust me?
i only bend rules.

I do the right thing.
I do the best thing,

for who?

not me.

i dont mind spiders

i walk thru mud.
and blackberries,
trash and refuse.
fear and hope.

hopeful and helpless.
looking for what?
heroism or relief?
closure,
an end to grief?

sure let me remember

we went to others friends house. one guy was a douch bag closet fag and one a short mexican who looks like he has a black eye

we went to silverado. was weird so many cocks and none of them for me. coulda been hot but was not so much. i got hit on by a drag queen. but she hit on her first. the guy in the cage hit on her too. but she says, " dude you shake it for boys, we cant hang

we had to meet miga so we left. esl confusion makes fifteen mins sound like meet at bar 15. we go. she talks with every guy. goes to corners, touches asses. me and miga go to find her a few times. almost closing and i go one more time to find her. she lost phone, so we look. no luck. i call att and set up a lost phone stuff. she gets on but doesnt want to get out of car. i sit on curb till she does.

we call and get let in.

douch comes out with no shirt and i ask if he showin off or really have a girl in there

then she comes out, supa wasted. he tryin to get her on a bus. i convince her to stay. but take off shoes. she needs help so other does it, he gets mad. haa

i go ouside with mexi and talk for a min, but she comes out talikn about cock and he goes back with her. other is on couch with jerk, i sit with lady, she goes in room with mexi. i tell lady to come with me and he wont. so i take a bottle of vodka and walk out

i call jew. he kicks out friends. and i come over. jew takes care of me

shark tooth

i like this lady.
cant tell if she likes me
seems so by most days,
unless there is a sale, or list
on the line.
she is nice and regular.
but dont get in her way
she will mow you over.
even if you give her a snack and small talk.
she will fuck you over.
then she will act like she didnt.
damn shark.

quiet elegance

sun and city
bridges and boats
people and places.
food and drink.
walk and sit.
play and leave.

man eater

watch out here she comes.
golden liquid pours out into my cup.
watch out, here she comes.
drink up

dont make the grown men cry..

who can count as grown?
hottness, hottmess, tease?
who can i be?
ill take my pick,
one of those, and some of these.
i do as i please.

pimp

i get a call. come on down. dont waste this.
i shouldnt. but i will.
it gets worse.
I do.
and he does.
but he does it for a while.
I get bored.
I send him out.
I leave.
hes mad.
im laughing.

what is worst?

That is 6 am? Or that I walk into my parents house drunk off my ass, wearing some guys shirt, and meet my dad, making breakfast. "Good morning" is all I can come up with.
striaght to bed is where i go.
up again at noon, when i realize im the only adult in the house.
shower and huge lunch.
half nap on the couch,...
mom gets home from jury duty and takes the kids.
I sleep for 3 hours
dad comes home...
"I sleep, you play.
i work, you sleep,
what is wrong?"
"Im confused," I say
My mom says Im on vacation

only a thief is so cautious to forget his shoes.

fast pace,
flip flops.
mouth breathing.
anexiety.
paranoia.
plans for attacks.
plans for shame.
home.
relief.

leave only foot prints, take only pictures.

is this my life?
dont go to far...
dont do to wrong..
only do right.
and struggle.
the whole time.

im pretty

tonight was a hard decision. we both had different ideas.
our thoughts were the same.
we wanted some time. away. from ourselves or eachother, i dont know.
it didnt work.
we spent time and money being away.
coming home, was the oppurtunity.
but did not happen.
i am here.
he is asleep.

i should be a philanthropist someday

I got the call today. I can be a member.
It means picking up some shifts with no pay.
I think this will be better though.
I want to do it.
I hope i dont cry.
Still selling, but 40 % goes to children.
maybe i can move up.
but at least i can put it on a resume for a job i might enjoy.

anonymity

I wear a uniform.
mostly black.
I paint my face,
to be regular.
On my own time,
I think you won't remember me.
I wont tell you much, but by the book,
I wont do much, but what im supposed to do.
I follow the rules. For the most part.
If you get to know me,
I might not see you again.

monday, monday.

I live and work among you.
I make aquaintences,
but never really belong.
I enjoy time to myself.
and life,
When its pretty.
When I feel accomplished,
Im not sure how well I hide.
Sometimes by wednesday I think im okay,
but mondays, I dont know who I am.

unmentionables

i went out tonight. was fun. went to bar XV and then boxes. was fun. nice. anonymous. then aura. full. packed actually. then ride, then walk . then ride a min, to a shop of sandwich. home, beer, other half sandwich,
the whole night was un exeptional.
earlier, at work, i helped a group of nine year olds. I helped them put on concealer, and powder, and eye shadow.
was aaawful.
they were happy, but i took that time to introduce the next generation.
I heard the daughter ask the mom, " When is the next time, Mama? You neve have time. .." and I heard the call of the next generation.
why mama? do you not have time?

those guys

who can say they never met THAT guy?
that guy who speaks as if he doesnt know.
but you can see, he thinks he knows everything.
he is prolly short.
maybe missing teeth.
maybe he tells you you are not appreciated.
dont listen to him.
you can do better.

circumstancial exelence

I love figure skating..
brings tears to my eyes.
The effort and beauty needed to even qualify.
Sad that i am not a part,
hopefull that my children may be.
This year they are so close to me.
I do not know what could be greater.
To be the best,
enjoy, and embrace.
Talent and dedication are not lost.

Today was good.
A red bull at 9 am,
After getting myself and children ready for the day, I drive. To the city.
Feeling ready, perfect, from my toes to my hair. I am in uniform, perfected. Ready to be in a room of girls, also perfect, in every possible way, we are ready.
We love it.
Our purpose is not important, but our goals, very.
Most of us, just making it. but we can come together, and try.
the outside world sees us. we look great. without flaw.
The rest of the world, who sees us daily, sees only flaws.
no matter what we cover, hide, erase, there is still judgement.
This or that, I can see you...
I see your flaws.
You can never be perfect.